• Home
  • 2018
  • October
  • 25

direction

Strange and strange, I, who always claimed to have a strong sense of direction, once I entered this city and arrived in this community, I turned to it and couldn’t distinguish the southeast from the northwest.. Nor is it true that there is no direction, but the direction I feel is different from the real direction. This difference is not the first time. This was the case at the end of last year in Qinhuangdao, Shijiazhuang. My east is always south, my west is always north, and the whole is 90 degrees out of place.. Unexpectedly, this situation continued to Chengdu. At first, the feeling was consistent with the direction, such as going out of the railway station, driving south, then west, then no north, south, west, east. If you go back to the city by bus, you will come back in the same direction. Can’t understand where the problem is. In the past, I lived in the countryside and never set the wrong direction.. In the city and countryside, the sense of direction suddenly changed, and the twist did not come back, causing trouble and irritation..     If you want to say what direction has to do with life, you can’t find out what. Into the room, south north south north don’t delay eating, sleeping and watching TV on the Internet. However, this difference in direction and feeling is constantly stirred in my mind. once I look outside the window, I will change direction – what south should be east, and the sun should rise from the east and fall from the west, so I correct it one by one: the wind is coming from the south, the rain is beating from the north, neon is built from the east, and the road is from the north to the south … the main consequence of the wrong direction is the awkward knot in my heart: why, even the direction is unclear? How, feeling suddenly lost on time? In turn, I doubt whether my other feelings, other thoughts and functions of language are still present, accurate and as sensitive as ever.. ” North” can’t be found. Can you still know South? I know I’m going to lose north and south after all, but now I can’t find the direction intermittently and feel suddenly lost.. It’s like saying that life and death are impermanent and one should be able to take care of them. If there is a judgment that you will leave tomorrow, one will never be so calm again..     The problem now is that from a rational point of view, I can find the direction. As soon as I go out, I will try my best to convert. Well, the south should be the west, and the gate should be opened to the west. The east should be south, and I went north and back to the south. In fact, I am still nervous under the appearance that nothing has happened, because my mind is extremely stubborn in sticking to what it thinks is the north and south, and does not cover up the ” illusion” that I used to have because of the good results I converted every day.. The trouble is that others can adjust quickly after the illusion is corrected, but I can’t do it. Last time in Qinhuangdao, Shijiazhuang, his companion said he also turned and turned 180 degrees, but after identification, he soon adjusted back and no longer misplaced. On the face of it, the shift of my mild symptoms did not change the original view from beginning to end.. How can one not worry if one is wrong and cannot be adjusted?!     Now, one of the reasons I can find is that I am stubborn in thinking. This is a problem that has been recognized by everyone for many years and also exists in introspection.. Once, because of my stubbornness, I offended leaders. At home, because of my persistence, I was often ridiculed’ criticized’ by comrades.. At work, my colleagues know this characteristic of me, and they are not willing to discuss with me’ flexibility’ on some major issues of principle. Of course, they will certainly talk about my rigidity behind them.. Although I have learned in recent years that some things are not what a person can insist on, I still insist on expressing something when I meet some individuals who specialize, just as rationality and sensibility cannot be unified in front of the direction.. Stubborn or persistent, I have as many advantages and disadvantages as I have.. The advantage is that more and more people trust and understand my consistent words and deeds. I am not abandoned because I stick to one idea and one belief, because my stubbornness is only for the benefit of most people, and my persistence is only a watch on the basis of tradition. My persistence has little gain in learning and writing: I often write my thoughts and feelings, enriching and enriching my spiritual world, and also getting many good friends with common interests and aspirations..     If you still want to find the reason, it is my adaptability. Perhaps, in my nature, I have more experience and brand of northwest village life. Only in the cool breeze and bright moon in the countryside can I find the exact stars in my life. All these changes are in the changing space of the city. Also, today’s cities are infinitely enlarged, roads are infinitely extended, buildings are identical, scenic spots have similar services, and there are few differences.. The navigation map printed in my mind or in my mind is still a few years ago in the countryside and in the earth. How can I adapt to such rapid changes?. People and things have their objects of adaptation. Facts have proved that my indications are in the land, not in the streets of the city. My ” north” must surely come back from my hometown.     If there are any objective reasons, it is that the roads in these places are not the’ positive’ roads that have existed through the ages. Such as the Forbidden City Tiananmen Square in Beijing and the Wild Goose Pagoda in Xi ‘an, which is just south and just north, it is difficult to get lost. However, there is no sense of heaven in other places. Their roads follow the shape of the landform and are connected by waterways. The south is also east, west and south, and north and west. Nature is not the direction of the north and south in the sense of the map.. Neither – what is not the direction of east Africa and west nor – what has never seen a sign here indicating southeast and northwest ( I understand, this is because it cannot be indicated ) can only rely on natural induction. Now I only complain about myself. I don’t have a magnet in my head. I quickly indicate the direction in every place..     Now I have only one choice: I know my sense of direction is wrong, and I know that things like ” north” can’t be found on the way forward. I can’t use my first feeling to confirm everything I see at present.. Therefore, adjust your thoughts, adjust your emotions, and adjust the uncomfortable feeling of being immersed in the illusion all day long.. Reality always teaches people mercilessly, knows oneself, knows the world, recognizes direction, and never stops.    July 23, 2013